entertainmentweekly:

Our interview with Sean Astin brought up an interesting question: Who’s the coolest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? If you need a refresher, Darren Franich has helpfully broken them down:

Leonardo
Mask Color: Blue.
Weapon: A pair of katana, which are arguably the coolest weapons in the world. (See: Pulp Fiction.)
Theme Song Defining Trait: “Leads”
Named after: Leonardo da Vinci, frontrunner for Most Brilliant Human Being in History.
Most Played Song on his iPod: Al Pacino’s speech from Any Given Sunday.
Conclusion: Earns points for being the Turtles’ leader, although like most leaders, he’s doesn’t have very much personality. He’s the Robb Stark of the franchise.

Donatello
Mask Color: Purple.
Weapon: A wooden bo staff, arguably the Sad Trombone Sound of cool ninja weapons.
Theme Song Defining Trait: “Does Machines”
Named after: Donatello, a brilliant Renaissance-era sculptor who notably has a much smaller Wikipedia page than Donatello the Turtle. Did we mention the Sad Trombone Sound?
Most Played Song on his iPod: “Dancing On My Own” by Robyn.
Conclusion: Beloved by nerds and people who love nerds. But only for very nerdy reasons.

Raphael
Mask Color: Red.
Weapon: A pair of sai.
Theme Song Defining Trait: “Is cool, but rude”
Named after: Raphael Sanzio da Urbino, the short-lived artist who’s probably best known for creating The School of Athens.
Most Played Song on his iPod: “F— tha Police” by NWA
Conclusion: Depending on how you look at it, Raphael is either a totally badass loner dude, or an utterly annoying teenager who will never listen to anything his incredibly understanding parental figure tells him. In his defense, Sean Astin likes him a lot.

Michelangelo
Mask Color: Orange.
Weapon: Nunchaku, inarguably the coolest weapons in the arcade Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game.
Theme Song Defining Trait: “Is a party dude”
Named after: Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, who sculpted the Statue of David, painted the Sistine Chapel, and generally rocked the house in Renaissance-era Florence.
Most Played Song on his iPod: Every Andrew W.K. song with the word “Party” in the title
Conclusion: Loves to have fun, but is not very bright. He’ll go far in this world.

So let’s put this to a vote, even though the correct answer is obviously Raphael. Which Turtle reigns supreme?